The Difficulties of Coming Out

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I grew up in a conservative home. My parents believed that if you were gay, you were sick. So sick, in fact, that you might make everyone else around you gay. I listened to that, and while I heavily disagreed with it, combined with the scorching sermons from my pastor, I accepted it. I myself wasn't straight, and tried denying it throughout my middle school and high school years. It wasn't until college did I begin to consider the fact that I was actually lying to myself. However, by the time I graduated, I wholeheartedly embraced my pan-sexuality, and while my parents had a hard time accepting it, I was happy nonetheless.

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 As Americans, we're lucky to live in a country where being apart of the LGBT community is celebrated. And while not everyone may like it, a majority of the country believe in giving the community actual human rights and treating them decently. More and more people are coming out as gay, bi, lesbian, trans, and everything in-between. Because society is more accepting of these individuals, the rates for them coming out are continually growing.

Not only that, but there have been numerous health benefits associated with coming out. For example, the American Psychology Association states that when an individual comes out, it encourages a greater sense of well-being. It can build an individual's self-confidence, reduce stress levels, and decrease the risk for depression. Representation increases, and as a result, more people see LGBT individuals as apart of a health, thriving, diverse society. They also gain a sense of community with other LGBT individuals, and can be more honest with themselves, at least when it comes to their sexual identity.

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Even so, there are still many difficulties associated with coming out. The potential to be rejected by close friends and family members is one. The fact that there are many hate groups that target LGBT individuals is another, such as the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality and the Alliance Defending Freedom. According to the Trevor Project, an organization dedicated to preventing LGBT teen suicides, the suicide rates for LGBT teens is almost "five times as likely to have attempted suicide compared to heterosexual youth." Many religious communities, especially the Christian Right, have also taken part in the discrimination and persecution against LGBT individuals. Because of these pressures, many people feel that it'd be safer to keep their identity to themselves, rather than expressing it.

These reasons are all legitimate as to why a person would decide to stay silent. After all, in some cases, the safety and security of an individual will trump any perceived benefits from coming out. What's more, coming out isn't a requirement, nor should it be.

However, remember that there are many resources for people who have difficulties coming out, or deciding to come out. Keep friends and family members close that will show support when, or if, you decide to come out. There are a plethora of books and articles online to help you, much of which can be found at the University of Washington site. Volunteer organizations like the Trevor Project can help people cope with any negative feelings of being LGBT, and offering support during tough times.

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Despite all the importance we place on accepting ourselves and all the health benefits that go along with it, it can be hard. From rejection from loved ones to becoming a target for violent hate crimes, it might appear to stay safer in the closet. However, just remember that there are resources available for you should you decide to come out, that there is a thriving community waiting to accept you. While it can be difficult at first, remember that it gets easier with time.

Because after all, it's important to know that you are loved.